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Sign up your friends, neighbors, strangers, even enemies. Unless they’re really bad enemies. In that case, demand to see their Kroger Plus Card or Speedy Reward Card and then rip it into a million tiny pieces.

[You can read more about this online voter registration contraption at Wired.com, if you are a nerd.]

If you’re like Republican Congressman Ben Chandler and you can’t physically make it to the Democratic Convention… or if you’re somehow not near a television in the eveningtimes or you want to catch the proceedings during the day while you’re not doing your work, you can stream the festivities in Charlotte in their entirety here at B&P thanks to this YouTube thing:

A lot of it may be really boring, but there will be some pretty great moments sprinkled throughout. Like these:

1976:

2004:

A disheveled and unshaven Andy Barr had his big close up at the RNC this afternoon. You can watch his big speech here.

Shockingly, he attacked President Obama’s “War on Coal,” which employs no miners in his district. But here’s the big kicker:

“Mitt Romney cares about your job.”

I never thought I’d say this, but I think Newt Gingrich sums it up best:

With the bad news that over 500 Lexington workers will be laid off at Lexmark, Andy Barr shot off a press release to make sure that we all blamed the real enemy:

“The fact that one of Lexington’s largest employers is cutting more than 12% of its full-time workforce brings home — once again — the human cost of our nation’s current economic policies. When I am elected to Congress, fighting for Kentucky jobs will be my top priority.”

Yes, this is an obvious sign that Obama’s regulation stranglehold over our economy has cost these workers their jobs.

Or, as an economist would say:

“The inkjet economy has reached its pinnacle,” he said. “There’s not much more happening there.”

Wait, so Obama is forcing people not to print copies, and instead making them…

Lexmark chairman and CEO Paul Rooke, who headed the inkjet division before taking the company helm, said in a conference call with stock analysts early Tuesday that Lexmark now sees the future in laser imaging and in computer technologies, such as those recently purchased by Lexmark, that allow work groups to share information, possibly without printing.

Damn you, President Obama, making Americans use this whole “digital” thing instead of printing copies. I guess that’s what Obama means by “winning the future,” or whatever other European ideas he’s trying to cram down our throat.

If you want to see Andy Barr talk about how awful Obama is by single-handedly (well, with Ben Chandler’s help, we should say) putting all of us out of work in Kentucky, you can watch him at the RNC here in 20 minutes or so (3:24).

You can watch Ben Chandler speak in a couple weeks at the DNC at never past never on never.

War is Peace! Freedom is Slavery! And Ignorance is what Andy Barr hopes voters have when it comes to the Paul Ryan plan to end Medicare as we know it for everyone currently under 55, and that has the same cuts that I’m denouncing in my television ad!

I almost feel as sorry for Garland as I do for all of those poor extras who had to sit around that shop all day and listen to him scream take after angry take.

When does ole Congressman Blue Dog come out with some early feel good positive ads that we can make fun of?