vapors

Mel Gibson refudiates Doug Martin

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July 28, 2010
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Here’s what Lexington’s Cursing Councilman Doug Martin said about everybody witnessing him drop 15 F-bombs on me over the span of 2 or 3 minutes:

We had a direct conversation. But it’s not possible to reconstruct any conversation with # of cuss words Sonka says. Offensive.

Not possible? What say you, Mel Gibson?

Eight of the “terrorizing” calls resulted in insane voicemails with phrases such as “f*cking disloyal and f*cking weak” and “such a f*cking slut” and “low life slut” peppered throughout. In one two-minute voicemail he drops 23 F-bombs.

It’s quite possible Doug. By men even more honorable than you.

Free study guide for Doug Martin

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July 21, 2010
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Dear Southside Screamer/Cursing Councilman,

Dropping the F-bomb 15 times while you’re on the clock is certainly bold, but it’s lacking a certain pizazz, dontcha think? You definitely need to add some more variety, before you get monotonous and predictable.

So just study this for a few weeks before the LFUCG summer break ends, and come back with some new and improved style and class.

If you get it down quick, you can move on to this.

In Direct Conversation,

-Joe

Doug Martin lies to the Herald Leader, keeps Pottymouthgate alive

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July 14, 2010
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I just now saw this added to the story from yesterday:

Martin issued a statement Tuesday night stating that the “local blogger’s account of our conversation on July 1st is grossly exaggerated and offensive. As to Mr. Williams, I would certainly have been surprised if he hadn’t wanted to make a little political hay with this story.”

Unbelievable. All the guy had to do was make a simple statement, but the man’s ginormous ego forced him at gunpoint to deny the incident, despite witnesses.

Somebody in the media should ask Newberry’s Chief of Staff Shaye Rabold about the Cursing Councilman’s “fuckyoupalooza”, since she witnessed the entire thing. I think that would be fun, at least.

Oh, and a Lexington reader who works in public relations writes this account of why this wasn’t, uh, the smartest move in the world:

No, what I am angry about is having the type of person serving on the council, not even elected to the position, who is so egotistical, stubborn, self righteous, and smug that he thinks he is ABOVE apologizing. It is Doug’s JOB to apologize. Doug is a city councilperson. He is representing people who may not even want him representing them. It is his duty to obey social norms AND oblige the consequences when he breaks them.

*****

Unfortunately, I am profoundly certain that Doug Martin believes he was not in the wrong. I also come from a family of judges and lawyers and know that admitting a mistake is not in Doug Martin’s job description in his private life as an attorney.

But we are not talking about that life. We are talking about the Councilman life. The one where you aren’t allowed to be drunk in public, have an affair, get caught with drugs or prostitutes, raise your voice, or direct “a string of obscenities” at a private citizen or member of the press. Maybe that’s unfair, but those are the rules we’ve all agreed to. We endow you with power. You follow the rules. Simple as that. Doug’s unwillingness to apologize tells me he thinks he is better than the position in which he is serving, but more importantly that he thinks he is better than me or Ms. Collier or any of the other Lexingtonians that have voiced concern or outrage over his behavior.

He believes that he is simply above it. And us.

Ann was even nice enough to draft a couple of sample apologies for Doug Martin to use. Since the “Southside Screamer” “Insane Clown Politician” or whatever you like to call him kept this story alive, maybe Doug can still use them in the near future.

The "Cursing Councilman"

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July 13, 2010
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Just the kind of free media Doug Martin and his opponent need:

Kevin Williams, a candidate for the Urban County Council’s 10th District seat, called on his opponent, incumbent Doug Martin, to apologize on Wednesday for cursing at a local blogger in city hall.

On July 1, Martin directed a string of obscenities at Joe Sonka, author of the Barefoot and Progressive blog, in a fifth-floor conference room where a council committee had just met.

“I have waited ten days in an attempt to give Mr. Martin the time to account for his actions himself, but further reports indicate that he continues to refuse to own up to his actions on July 1st,” Williams said in a press release. “I call on Council Member Martin to apologize immediately to the citizens of Lexington.”

So far we have:

The Cursing Councilman

The Southside Screamer

Doug FU Martin

Insane Clown Politician

Any other nicknames for Councilman Potty Mouth?

Doug Martin’s opponent calls on him to apologize for his potty mouth

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July 13, 2010
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Well, this is… unexpected. Doug “F.U.” Martin’s opponent in the LFUCG 10th District race, Kevin Williams, just sent out a press release calling on Doug Martin to apologize to the citizens of Lexington for the F-bomb train he laid down on me 2 weeks ago.

Here it is:

Council Candidate Kevin Williams Calls for Public Apology from Councilman

Lexington, KY – On July 2nd, the Lexington Herald-Leader reported that, following the July 1st meeting of the Urban County Council, Council Member Doug Martin was observed to directing “a string of obscenities at Joe Sonka, author of the Barefoot and Progressive blog.”

In response to this report, Kevin Williams, a candidate for Lexington’s Urban County Council in the 10th District, issued the following statement:

“I fully believe that, whether you’re elected to the Council or appointed by the Mayor, you are still responsible to the citizens you represent. Part of that responsibility is to be professional, courteous, and a gentleman, especially during council activity, no matter what name you may be called on a blog website.

“It is clear from reports in the Herald-Leader that Mr. Martin has failed this responsibility. Such outbursts and actions are what continue to frustrate citizens and diminish their confidence in elected representatives.

“I have waited ten days in an attempt to give Mr. Martin the time to account for his actions himself, but further reports indicate that he continues to refuse to own up to his actions on July 1st. I call on Council Member Martin to apologize immediately to the citizens of Lexington.”

Kevin Williams has built his campaign for Lexington’s Urban County Council in the 10th District around his years of service to this community as a firefighter and will have an open door so that citizens, employees and businesses can connect with their government.

Oh dear. Looks like Doug’s little profane anger management issue isn’t going away, after all…

Doug Martin lying to voters about his potty mouth

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July 7, 2010
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Remember Doug Martin unleashing his “string of obscenities” last week? (Actually, it was a string of 15 “fuck”s)

Well, after being called out on twitter by someone yesterday morning for still not apologizing me, Doug decided to direct message (non-public message, for the Twitter-illiterate) someone who retweeted it.

Here is what the liar had to say to her at midnight, last night:

@DougMartin10th Sonka is not telling the truth. His description of our conversation is grossly exaggerated and offensive.

Um…. wow? Could Dougie seriously not know that there were witnesses to all of this (hi Shaye!)? Could he really be that dim? Saying “fuck” 15 times in an insulting manner isn’t offensive, but just smiling at the person who is directing that at you is? And if I really “made it up”, why did he give no comment to the Herald Leader?

She replied this morning:

@tashalee What really happened, then?

@DougMartin10th We had a direct conversation. But it’s not possible to reconstruct any conversation with # of cuss words Sonka says. Offensive.

@tashalee …okay?

A DIRECT CONVERSATION!!! Bwahahaha!

Congrats, Councilman Martin. Not only are you a (bad) liar with some anger issues to deal with, I think you’ve just given birth to a new catchphrase in the Bluegrass Blogtopia… the “direct conversation”. Which consists of a person unleashing an endless string of F-bombs on another person that is laughing at him.

The people of Lexington’s 10th district should be so proud.

At the circus, with Doug Martin

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July 2, 2010
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Well, not since a red-faced Ben Chandler angrily poked me in the chest in 2007 have I been confronted with such a case of blogger-induced hysteria from an elected official. Well, actually Doug Martin was never elected (as he was appointed by Mayor Jim Newberry for his seat), but you know what I mean.

As the Herald Leader and I told you last night, LFUCG 10th District Councilman Doug Martin completely flipped out and dropped about 15 F-bombs on me in front of several onlookers after yesterday’s special investigation committee. Vapors and fainting couches, all around.

Since all of the major work of the committee was done in closed session while all non-committee folks waited in the hallway for 90 minutes, there’s almost nothing for me to report on in terms of progress with the committee’s work.

What I can report on, however, is Doug Martin humiliating himself both during and after the meeting. So let’s just get into that, shall we?

After the closed session was over and we were invited back into the conference room, Doug Martin was suddenly sitting at the table with the committee members. Which was odd of course, since he first eagerly volunteered to be on the committee when it formed, then made a public spectacle about leaving the committee in order to discredit it, and hasn’t shown any interest in their work since. But there he was, sitting quietly while the members went over a discussion of what constitutes “work papers” of Mounjoy.

But after they moved past this, George Myers let Doug Martin speak. And he opened up a ginormous can of Whine. He was crying about the fact that they didn’t let him into the committee members-only closed session. Even though he isn’t on the committee, and dramatically left the committee, he now suddenly wanted to be privy to it’s closed session. Myers then had to inform him that this is what the council voted on unanimously, also noting that Doug Martin’s amendment to have all council members be committee members was defeated when Martin was the only person to vote for it. It was one of the most sad and pathetic displays of whining I’ve ever seen by a grown man.

But he wasn’t done there. He also made a strange and incoherent complaint that the committee didn’t set a closing date for itself, and therefore they would be acting illegally if they continued. Myers calmly read back to him what the council had voted on for the committee’s duties, how the July 6th report of the committee was explicitly described as “interim”, not final, and how they were given the task of investigating this until they could come to a conclusion about what happened. This did not deter Martin, as he kept saying the same thing over and over again about the committee breaking the law. Myers continued to calmly restate what the council voted for, and continually had to repeat to Martin that if he wanted to change what the committee’s duties were, he was free to bring it up in the council meeting that night or at another time.

The most humiliating part about this for Martin is that nobody had his back. Judge Crittenden put him in his place a bit at one point, which elicited nods of approval from even Jay McChord. And this was noticeable, because throughout most of the time Martin was whining, McChord had his head in his hands with his eyes closed, wincing. Martin continually reached out to Feigel to back him up, but she was having no part of it. KC Crosbie just looked like she was in awe of what she was witnessing. And Beard, of course, wasn’t taking any of this shit. As I was live-tweeting it, I explained all of this as the train wreck was happening in front of me. I called him a clown, because he was acting like, well, a clown.

After Martin had enough with the members ignoring his grand wisdom, he grabbed his papers and stormed out in a huff, with everyone else staying in the room as the members ironed out a few details before they adjourned. Right before they officially adjourned, Martin showed back up in the door frame, where he was giving me a death stare from across the room. He had apparently gone back to his office that was 20 feet away to read what I had written about his “performance” before the committee. Yes, it looks like somebody’s bruised ego was out for blood.

They adjourned, and the red-faced Martin made a beeline to me, beginning his tirade with this:

“Fuck off. Fuck you. Who the fuck are you? What the fuck is wrong with you? Fuck off. Fuck you.”

Oh, but that was only the beginning of the fucks, I assure you. He then went on to mock my state of poverty, explain to me how he was the only one in the room that cared about the law (think Walter “mark it zero!” in Lebowski), and say “fuck you” about 8 more times. Those last 8 were probably because I was laughing uncontrollably at him the entire time. By the end, I just told him to look at himself in the mirror and stop humiliating himself, he’s had enough of it for one day and was completely out of control. He gave me the “I’m the only one who cares about the law and standing up to it” routine, to which I had to reply “you’re just one man who is fighting the system. You’re like Rand Paul!”. To which he gave me his final “fuck you” and stormed out for good.

So… when I call him a clown, maybe you can see why. After all, there are happy clowns, and there are angry clowns:

New York Times covers douche

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November 14, 2009
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No, not someone who is a douche. Literally, the word “douche”.

LOS ANGELES — On many nights this fall, it has been possible to tune in to broadcast network television during prime time and hear a character call someone else a “douche.”

In just the last several weeks, it has happened on CBS’s “The New Adventures of Old Christine” and the CW’s “The Vampire Diaries,” which are broadcast at 8 p.m., during what used to be known as the family hour. It has been heard this fall on Fox’s new series “The Cleveland Show,” which begins at 8:30, and on ABC’s “Grey’s Anatomy.” On NBC, its use has spanned the old and the new, blurted out on the freshman comedy “Community” and the seasoned drama “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.”

In total, the word has surfaced at least 76 times already this year on 26 prime-time network series, according to research by the Parents Television Council, which compiled the statistics at the request of The New York Times. That is up from 30 uses on 15 shows in all of 2007 and just six instances on four programs in 2005.

This is, obviously, the greatest thing ever.

Somebody get Stu Silberman a fainting couch

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October 5, 2009
By

Because the Fayette County Schools Superintendent is getting all hot and bothered by the dirty B&P bloggers:

Sexytime!

UPDATE: ah, apparently KDE blocked it, not Disco Stu…

What you won’t find in Mongiardo’s end-of-quarter fundraising email on Wednesday

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September 30, 2009
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It appears that half of the entire campaign strategy for Dan Mongiardo this summer has been trying to blow up Jack Conway’s use of the word hell and bitch (Vapors!). From some typical campaign emails:

“It’s clear that Jack Conway’s actions at Fancy Farm are still resonating with Kentuckians and further proof that he is out of touch with Kentucky values.”

and…

“Jack’s outburst at Fancy Farm calls into question his judgment, but ultimately we will be judged on the positions we take and the values we stand up for.”

Well, with the end of this fundraising quarter Wednesday, do you want to take a guess what the Vegas odds are for this line to show up again in his fundraising pitch tomorrow?

I’d say the odds of CentrePointe getting built are better.

Better come up with a new campaign strategy, Dan

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