Ryan Quarles

Pizzabagging liar channels Higgy for grand police conspiracy theory against Quarles

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October 5, 2010
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I really don’t intend to smear Higgy’s good name and reputation by saying this, but Lexington’s easily duped conspiracy theorist and liar Mica Sims appears to be channeling him with her latest offering.

In response to the arrest of GOP state house candidate Ryan Quarles for playing parking lot slalom at 3:00 AM in downtown Lexington with a barely legal blood alcohol level, she says this:

Wishful thinking on the left has Ryan dropping out of his race, but the facts are more interesting than that. Ryan didn’t break any laws. The policeman who arrested Ryan after finding out he is a Republican candidate for office is the one with real questions to answer.

My response to reading this was obviously hysterical laughter. Once I composed myself, I decided to call the Lexington Police’s PIO to see if they had a comment on this batshit crazy conspiracy theory. After about a minute of hysterical laughter, the PIO composed herself and gave this statement:

This case is a matter for the courts to decide at this point. Our job is simply to enforce the law, we don’t get into political arguments.

You thought we dirty libruls only controlled the media and international banking? Oh no, we control the Lexington Police Department as well! And if you dare cross us, get ready to rot behind our bars, Freedom Fighters! Bwahahahahaha!

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