fundies

McCreary and Pulaski Co. going bankrupt for Jesus

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May 26, 2011
By Joe Sonka

What happens when two Kentucky counties fight a 12-year battle to save souls by posting Jesus Rules and wind up owing $456,881 to the Godless ACLU when they fail?

Well, they fight over who’s going to pay the bill, that’s what.

Though Stephens had been previously advised by another Liberty Counsel attorney that the organization may help in fundraising efforts, Staver told the Lexington Herald-Leader last week that his group’s supporters would not likely donate monies that would ultimately go to the ACLU.

*****

“When the issue of fundraising was brought up, Mr. Staver said he would have to discuss the matter with David Carr and Herschel Walker,” Judge Stephens said.

Carr runs King of Kings Radio in Somerset and Walker pastors Hopewell Baptist Church in Corbin. Together they organized the Ten Commandments Advancement Fund to help cover expenses related to defending the case. In February, Carr indicated to the Commonwealth Journal that the fund could not be used to pay a judgment to ACLU.

Judge Stephens said yesterday he has received correspondence from Carr taking issue with Stephens’ comments to the Herald-Leader.

“To ask them [Liberty Counsel] to Fund Raise for the courts is extremely ungrateful and selfish,” Carr wrote, calling Liberty County “a tremendous friend to the Fiscal Courts.”

But Judge Stephens maintains that he only mentioned it to the reporter because a Liberty Counsel attorney had first told him it was a possibility. The judge added that the county does not have money in its budget to pay the debt and, even if it did, the county has been threatened with another lawsuit if taxpayer dollars are used — further reducing the local government’s options.

“I didn’t intend to be disrespectful to anybody,” Judge Stephens said. “I didn’t say anything negative about the Liberty Counsel or the ACLU.”

Former Judge-Executive Jimmie Greene, who was in office when the lawsuit was filed and assisted in fundraising for the Ten Commandments Advancement Fund, told the Record that he would be disappointed if Liberty Counsel maintains its stance, considering how the community rallied to help defend the case.

“Liberty Counsel represented us and represented us well,” Greene said. “It’s upsetting to think when it’s down to the wire, they would ride away and leave us behind.”

I love it when fundies fight among themselves about who’s going to get the bill for their ridiculous and unnecessary PR scam.

Ken Ham and Steve Beshear, this is the Ghost of Christmas Future!

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Rand Paul chats with Pat Robertson

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April 28, 2011
By Joe Sonka

Alex Jones isn’t the only insane lunatic that Rand Paul lends credibility to. Here he is chatting with Pat “God punishes gays and devil worshipers with earthquakes and hurricanes” Robertson:

Here’s a lovely Top 10 list I found of our old friend Pat:

10. “Lord, give us righteous judges who will not try to legislate and dominate this society. Take control, Lord! We ask for additional vacancies on the court.” –Pat Robertson

9. “Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.” –Pat Robertson

8. “I would warn Orlando that you’re right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don’t think I’d be waving those flags in God’s face if I were you, This is not a message of hate — this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It’ll bring about terrorist bombs; it’ll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor.” –Pat Robertson, on “gay days” at Disneyworld

7. “(T)he feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.” –Pat Robertson

6. “I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that’s the way it is, period.” –Pat Robertson

5. “I’d like to say to the good citizens of Dover: If there is a disaster in your area, don’t turn to God, you just rejected him from your city. And don’t wonder why he hasn’t helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I’m not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that’s the case, don’t ask for his help because he might not be there.” –Pat Robertson, after the city of Dover, Pennsylvania voted to boot the current school board, which instituted an intelligent design policy that led to a federal trial

4. “God considers this land to be his. You read the Bible and he says ‘This is my land,’ and for any prime minister of Israel who decides he is going to carve it up and give it away, God says, ‘No, this is mine.’ … He was dividing God’s land. And I would say, ‘Woe unto any prime minister of Israel who takes a similar course to appease the E.U., the United Nations, or the United States of America.’ God says, ‘This land belongs to me. You better leave it alone.’” –Pat Robertson, on why Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a massive stroke

3. “Maybe we need a very small nuke thrown off on Foggy Bottom to shake things up” –Pat Robertson, on nuking the State Department

2. “You know, I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It’s a whole lot cheaper than starting a war … We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.” –Pat Robertson, calling for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez

1. “It may be a blessing in disguise. … Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. Haitians were originally under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it’s a deal. Ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other.” –Pat Robertson, on the earthquake in Haiti that destroyed the capital and killed tens of thousands of people, Jan. 13, 2010

Rand Paul still making us proud…

Also, it goes without saying that liberals like us should like totally support Rand Paul and stuff, because we agree on like so many things, etc…

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Ken Ham’s new Creation Museum commercial

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April 13, 2011
By Joe Sonka

Ken Ham is proud to announce that his new Creation Museum commercial is set to air on Fox News today (the man knows how and where to market himself, I’ll give him that). Here it is:

Next time feel free to quote me, Ham! My favorite part is where Ham tells you to “think for yourself”. Quite a different message from the one in his intellectual child abuse brainwashing lectures:

I will admit that this new ad is a little classier than what we’ve come to expect from Ken Ham. Anyone remember this oldie but goodie, where Ham says that if your son isn’t a Bible-is-literal Christian, he will shoot you point blank in the face?

Don’t worry, once Ken Ham gets that $40 million tax break from Steve Beshear, the chances of your son shooting you in the face will decrease exponentially.

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Well Hey, Great!

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April 9, 2011
By Terri

The government didn’t shut down. And in your non-news, the Democratic party still considers the rights of just over half of the population of this country (and nearly 53% of the population of the District of Columbia) totally negotiable. Also: godbags totally love liberty!

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Ken Ham might build "Solomon’s Temple" in KY, but it won’t be "weird"

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April 1, 2011
By Joe Sonka

Here’s another golden nugget from Kentucky’s new source of pride, Ark Encounter. Ken Ham’s Deputy Flintstone Truther, Mark Looy, was asked what is next for Answers in Genesis after they build their giant boat with dinosaurs on it.

Well, surprise surprise, its Solomon’s Temple!

But I know what you’re thinking: “Hey Mark, this isn’t going to be some kind secular temple where all sorts of weird religious ceremonies are held, is it?”

Well guess what? Looy literally says that it won’t be:

“We’ve been thinking about that,” Looy said, “but it’s not going to be some kind of secular temple where all sorts of weird religious ceremonies are held.”

Well thank god. Because when you’re building a temple next to a giant boat that depicts a 600-year old man herding T-Rexes onto it a few thousand years ago, the last thing you want is for it to be weird.

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Modern day Marjoe visits Lexington

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March 14, 2011
By Joe Sonka

You can say a lot about Ken Ham (like “he is a con man who exploits stupid people and impressionable children in order to make himself rich”). But at least he doesn’t exploit his own children, brainwashing them in order to make himself rich. He prefers to do that to other children.

But not Pastor Todd Burpo of Imperial, Nebraska. He prefers to brainwash his own child into “performing” so that he can make his millions.

What Colton calls his face-to-face meeting with Jesus is documented in the book Heaven Is for Real, written by his father, Pastor Todd Burpo, and published by Thomas Nelson, a Christian publishing company in Nashville.

Since hitting shelves in November, Heaven Is for Real has found national recognition, mostly through word of mouth. The book is No. 1 on The New York Times best-seller list in paperback non-fiction and has been for 10 weeks. Todd Burpo said his publisher has printed 1.5 million copies to meet demand.

The Burpos flew to Lexington from Imperial, Neb., on Sunday to speak at The Bridge Church, a congregation that worships in a former storefront on Dennis Drive.

Colton nervously sang an inspirational hymn before departing to the Sunday school class. His parents, Todd and Sonja, sat down with The Bridge’s pastor, Lee Claypoole, for a roundtable discussion.

You can read the entire sad and nauseating story here.

It just goes to show you that you can never underestimate adults’ willingness to brainwash and exploit children for their own financial gain.

Here’s the version of Colton Burpo from 50 years ago, for those who haven’t seen it:

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Westboro Baptists outnumbered x 80 in Louisville

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March 7, 2011
By Joe Sonka

From CJ:

They didn’t even need the Sodomobile:

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Fred Phelps and Westboro Baptist coming to Kentucky this weekend

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March 4, 2011
By Joe Sonka

Get your witty counter signs ready, people:

LOUISVILLE (AP) – Members of a Kansas church who won a Supreme Court case that gives them broad rights to continue jeering protests say they plan to picket at Kentucky churches this weekend.

The Westboro Baptist Church announced in faxes that members plan to protest at an Owensboro Catholic church that was the site of a suicide of a man who said in a note he had been sexually abused.

The group says it will also target two more Protestant churches in Owensboro and a Catholic church in Louisville.

Here are some sign suggestions.

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Frankfort: Smite or Bless?

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March 4, 2011
By Joe Sonka

Rev. Lee Watts, chaplain to the Kentucky State Assembly, is a really fun guy. I’ve seen him speak several times at Tea Party rallies, including at hate group president Frank Simon’s candidate forum last weekend, where he calmly explained that they are fighting against Satan himself in the legislature and DC.

And look at this fun little flyer that he passed around the Capitol this week to promote his next prayer breakfast and Bible study this morning:

Yes indeed. You folks thought that you would be in the clear after blocking the Fetal Seance Bill last week, but little did you know that God was sitting at his Desktop, considering whether to Smite the Capitol Building.

Will God smite them? Only time will tell. They still have a week or so to repent, so keep that in mind, Democrats.

P.S.- This is Watts’ website full of very very fun stuff, like this:

Hours of fun reading, I tell you.

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A lonely Ken Ham takes on Glenn Beck, Mormons, Jews

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January 24, 2011
By Joe Sonka

Ken Ham is feeling lonely.

Yes, it’s been an entire week since someone in the Godless secular mainstream media wrote something mean about Ken Ham’s magic dineysore boat, using facts and such. And that doesn’t fit with Ark Encounter’s business model, as their entire strategy relies on their persecution from atheists and Godless media in order to bring in publicity, sympathy and money. Silence = no money from suckers for their big con.

In order to keep themselves in the martyrdom eye of the public, Answers in Genesis wrote a long whiny sob story letter to the Courier Journal, which I’m sure they published for dark humor purposes. The AiG flak explains how the Courier Journal only writes mean Godless facts about Ark Encounter because they hate God, Kentuckians, and all of the jobs that the giant dineysore boat will create. It’s a tear-jerker.

But sympathy alone won’t build Ark Encounter. While a fight with KY newspapers is nice and all, Ken Ham knows that he needs a bigger public figure to have a rap battle with in order to bring in $30 million of donations. Someone like… Glenn Beck!

Yes, Ken Ham was watching Fox News recently and had a light bulb moment. Glenn “Mormon” Beck and a big Jewish rabbi were talking about the Tower of Babel, and guess what? They actually thought it was an allegory! Nothing but symbolic metaphors that weren’t literal and historically accurate! Ken Ham saw dollar signs and cast off this opening salvo in what he hoped was a biblical war with Glenn Beck:

I happened to be skipping through the TV channels (surfing with a remote control is a male thing I am told!) and heard commentator Glenn Beck discussing the Genesis 11 account of the Tower of Babel with a rabbi.

My ears pricked up because of this topic from Genesis. But I was so dismayed to hear comments like these from Mr. Beck and the rabbi:

* “And then the mortar that holds it [the Tower] together is the stuff, the material. Not the—not their common experiences of spiritualist or even history . . . . And I urge people to read the story and to listen to us, not as if we’re describing some long forgotten historic event . . . .” [Me: in other words, the Tower of Babel wasn’t a historical event?]

* “But the bricks represent people.” [So, the bricks weren’t real bricks but supposedly symbolized people?]

* “. . . the mortar is very related—same word really as the word materialism . . . . The mortar that will hold those bricks together is materialism.” [So, the mortar represented materialism?]

* “After the Great Flood, everybody on Earth was getting together and then, all of a sudden, somebody had a different idea: Hey, how about we all speak one language and we’ll build a tower to reach the sky?” [In other words, people spoke different languages before the Tower of Babel, and then they were led to speak one?]

* “Rabbi, the very first time socialism or communism or new world order was tried was the Tower of Babel, right?” [So, Babel is really about socialism?]

* Beck: “They think they are doing good and that’s why God didn’t punish them. He blessed them by making them stones again, right?” Rabbi Lapin: “Correct.” [Therefore, God didn’t judge the people at the Tower of Babel? He actually blessed them by making them individuals again (represented by the different languages)?]

My heart sank as I heard this from such a well-known broadcaster. Even though he says he respects the Bible, Beck’s comments were an outright attack on the history of this Babel event recorded in the book of Genesis. The Bible makes it clear: people rebelled against God as they built this Tower. They had disobeyed God’s directive. God judged them by causing them to speak different languages

Glenn Beck, you blasphemous bastard! You’ve been served by The Ham! Getting his Mormon on with that “rabbi”, how disgraceful! He’s no better than the secular humanists, I say!

I don’t expect Glenn Beck to pick up the bait of course, as dark-skinned communists infiltrating halls of power of our government take obvious precedent over a crazy grifter trying to pick a fight with him so he can build a giant dineysore boat. But we can always hope that Ham will keep on trying. It’s what Behemoth would have wanted him to do.

UPDATE: Remember, Ken Ham thinks that the Pope and Catholics are not real Christians, either. Everyone except Ken Ham is attacking the Baby Jesus!

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