Flintstone Truth

Doonesbury does the Ark Park

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July 11, 2011
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Here’s just a taste below, but you can see the full strip here.

Of course, Trudeau gets Flintstone Truth wrong, because Behemoth was a dinosaur and Noah certainly did not forget them. Sing along, kids! Liberty University is taking applications!

Podcasting with the Evolving Scientist and dinosaurs on a boat

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July 7, 2011
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The good folks at the recently Pharyngula shout-outed Lexington science blog The Evolving Scientist interviewed me yesterday for their podcast, which you can listen to here.

If you’ve got a free hour to listen to jokes about Kentuckians’ love of 600 year old men herding saddled sauropods onto a giant boat, this is what you’re looking for.

PBS show covers the freakshow of Ark Encounter

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June 24, 2011
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Oh dear. PBS’s Religion & Ethics program will be airing this segment over the weekend. As the viewers will see, Kentucky is the new Flintstone Truth Capitol of America. Thankfully, Kentucky Paleontological Society president Daniel Phelps and Reverend Joseph Phelps of Louisville are given some airtime to balance out Ken Ham, so Kentucky doesn’t look nearly as bad as we could have.

Check it out:

Watch the full episode. See more Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly.

And thank you, Governor.

Ken Ham being beaten to the Ark punch in Maryland (UPDATE)

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June 22, 2011
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Ken Ham says that his giant replica of Noah’s Ark, complete with dinosaurs and a 600-year old man, will be completed by the Spring of 2014 here in Grant County, Kentucky.

But it looks like a Frostburg, Maryland church is going to beat him to the punch. And they didn’t even need the promise of a $43 million dollar government hand out to pull it off.

Check out this new creation being built by the God’s Ark of Safety Ministries:

As you can see from their website and the incredibly awesome video below, God instructed the minister and to rebuild the Ark:

Founding Pastor Richard Greene had a repeated dream from God in which he saw a large ark located on a hillside with people coming from all over the world to see it. In these repeated dreams, Pastor Greene saw the destruction and corruption that was taking place throughout the world, just like it was in the biblical days of Noah.

“For the coming of the Son of man will be just like the days of Noah. For as in those days which were before the flood they were eating and drinking, they were marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the Ark, and they did not understand until the flood came and took them all away; so shall the coming of the Son of man be” (Matthew 24:37-39 NAS).

God’s instructions were to rebuild this modern-day Noah’s Ark as a sign to the world of His love and the soon return of Jesus!


Rebuilding Noah’s Ark in Frostburg, Maryland from God’s Ark on Vimeo.

And here’s an amazing 6 minute video full of diaramas showing how the fulfillment of God’s order will look when completed:

Since construction is already well under way, it looks like Maryland is going to beat Kentucky and Ken Ham to the punch. But which one will be more awesome?

The Maryland Ark wins points on:

  • first completed (we assume)
  • God Himself ordered it to be built
  • No help from Big Government

The Kentucky Ark wins points on:

  • DINOSARUS (assuming the Maryland church doesn’t include them too)

Neither will actually float, so that’s a draw.

Tale of the tape? The Maryland Ark wins by God’s nose. Plus, you won’t even have to pay $40 to see it.

Kentucky’s Ark will still get as many people to shell out money for it as King’s Island, though. Because they (and Steve Beshear) say so. Jobs!

UPDATE: A commenter tells us that this Maryland “Ark” has been halted in construction for years, so this might mean that Ham will beat him to it after all if it remains stalled.

This also calls into question the minister’s claim that God instructed the Maryland Ark to be built. As we all know, God usually only takes a few days to create things. Then again, it took Noah roughly 500 years to complete his Ark. I hope Pastor Greene exercises and has a sensible diet, or else God is going to be awfully disappointed.

Miss USA pageant solidifies Kentucky’s place as the Creationist Capitol of America

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June 20, 2011
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So last night a bunch of young women walked around in swimsuits on the TV and one of them was given a shiny crown. In 2011.

The nice young lady from California who got the crown also said that she is a science geek who believes in evolution, which is cool, I guess.

But we don’t raise ‘em like that in Kentucky, the state whose governor hands out $43 million in tax breaks to con men so that they can build giant boats with saddled dineysores on them. Miss Kentucky, tell those West coast secular progressives what time it is!

Unbridled Faith, suckers!

AiG compromises on Biblical truth of mutant deer with horn sticking out of forehead

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June 15, 2011
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Not only have Ken Ham and Answers in Genesis already compromised (at least in words) on the Biblical truth of T-rexes and sauropods on the giant boat from a few thousand years ago, they now appear to be abandoning their rather awesome “unicorn” hypothesis.

As the good people at Answers in Genesis explained to me in great detail back in December, the “unicorn” referred to in the Bible is not a horse that rides on rainbows and burps pixie dust. Rather, it is most likely a genetically deformed deer with a big ole horn sticking out of its forehead, that also had the strength of God. They also said there’s a chance that unicorns were rhinoceroses that “skipped like calves”.

But today, with the “unicorn people” label attached to them, Answers in Genesis is fighting back against the smears so that no one considers them a collection of crackpots making wild theories based on pure fantasy and hatred of science in order to make a buck off of stupid people.

So here is their new defense of the Biblical truth of unicorns. And while the skipping rhinoceros is featured heavily, there is not a single mention of the Biblical and scientific truth of genetically deformed deer with a big horn sticking out of their forehead, with the strength of God. Why have they abandoned the genetically defective deer? What, just because it sounds really stupid they’re now tossing it aside?

Ken Ham is getting used to this compromising thing. Next thing you know, he’ll have gays on his boat. And if he was really smart, he’d go full on rainbows and pixie dust unicorns, too. Then we’d really have a party.

Kentucky’s future legacy to break ground in two months?

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June 10, 2011
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Bourbon, basketball and horses? Try bourbon, basketball, horses, and giant boats with dinosaurs and a 600-year old man on it.

Looks like Grant County’s about to get a new parking lot:

Groundbreaking for the $172 million Ark Encounter project could be as early as August, now that tax rebates for the attraction have been green-lighted.

The approval of incentives virtually assures the project will be built on the Grant County site identified by developers at a December press conference in Frankfort.

“This was the site that we really liked and everything was predicated on getting this approval,” Mike Zovath, senior vice president for Answers in Genesis and project manager for the Ark Encounter LLC project, said.

“Getting the approval means we can move forward now and don’t have to start over looking at a massive plan for another site. The project would have gone on either way; we would have just had to start looking somewhere else.”

Yes, that would have been a shame if they had to con another state and turn them into a nationwide laughingstock.

And speaking of Kentucky as a nationwide laughingstock, Ken Ham did not take too kindly to Barry Lynn of AUSCS making a video talking about his boat with a sauropod and unicorn aboard. Here is Ham’s response, where he once again asserts the Biblical truth of genetically deformed deer with a big horn sticking out of their forehead:

Barry Lynn, Americans United for the Separation of Church and State has stooped to what I believe is a new low in mocking and misrepresenting the Ark Encounter project, in an attempt to fund raise so he can continue his anti-Christian propaganda.

*****

And then, in what I believe is rather childish behavior, uses a toy Sauropod dinosaur (and compares it to the bathtub Ark he says ‘IS’ Noah’s Ark!) to mock the project–and then adds the mythical version of the unicorn as if this is what we at AiG believe! AiG has a number of articles going back years, where we speak against the ‘fantasy unicorn,’ and deal with the meaning of the word in a scholarly way.

Remember, that’s not just a mutant deer with a big horn sticking out of its forehead, it’s a mutant deer with a big horn sticking out of its forehead that has the strength of God. Catch up Ken’s version of Unicorn Truth that he refers to here and here.

And as for Ken Ham’s statement that Lynn’s video is a new low in mocking Ark Encounter… how DARE you sir. That is a lie, and you know it’s a lie. But if you want me to up the ante on you in order to regain the prize, by God I will.

Anyway, get ready for your close up, Kentucky!

Sarah Palin and ‘Behemoth the Dinosaur’

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June 10, 2011
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From the giant stash of Governor Palin emails:

On Sept. 15, 2008, Palin communications director Bill McAllister sent the governor a list of queries he’d been fielding from reporters covering the campaign. Though the top priority was Palin’s use of personal emails for public business, one of the questions he’d received apparently dealt with Palin’s beliefs regarding evolution and creationism: “Is it your belief that dinosaurs and humans co-existed at one time?”

McAllister told the governor, “I said I have never spoken to you about this,” but then he added, parenthetically, “There is an interesting reference to ‘Behemoth’ in the Old Testament.”

In response, Palin wrote, “Arghhhh! I am so sorry that the office is swamped like this! Dinosaurs even?!”

Cue the damned song:

I knew that she was chief in the ways of god.

Ken Ham: The Musical!

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June 9, 2011
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There are only two things we like about Yale here at B&P: Matt Gunterman, and these good folks in their Institute for Music Theatre:

The Yale Institute for Music Theatre has announced cast and creative teams for the three original music theatre works to be developed in two-week workshops. The pieces will be seen in a series of public readings at the Off-Broadway Theatre, to be held June 16-18.

*****

The Profit of Creation, featuring music by Tim Rosser, with book and lyrics by Charlie Sohne, will be directed by Evan Yionoulis, and music directed by Chris Fenwick. The musical concerns a liberal scientist who takes a bribe from a right-wing organization to head up the “Creation Museum” in Kentucky. The cast will include Danny Binstock, Allison Fischer, Manu Narayan, Blake Segal, Christopher Shyer, and Sally Wilfert.

Yes, yes, yes, and yes. And yes.

Ken Ham, being the skilled self-promoter and Con Man that he is, is thrilled at the news. After all, he’ll be able to do fundraising pitches decrying the vicious attack on him by elitist East Coast secular educated homosexuals singing and dancing on a stage. Seriously, it’s like Ken Ham’s perfect storm of fearmongering to raise money off of stupid hateful people secular evil.

I’m not sure how much money these students would have to spend to get the licensing rights, but if they can pull it off, I highly suggest sneaking Behemoth in there:

Believe me, we’ll keep you up to date on everything related to The Profit of Creation. G-d Bless their souls.

Damon Thayer gushes over Flintstone Truther Park

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June 1, 2011
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Here’s State Sen. Damon Thayer gushing to Ryan Alessi yesterday about Ken Ham’s giant boat with dinosaurs on it (up to 2:36 below):

Nice to know that Steve Beshear can find common ground with Damon Thayer over something besides the coal companies’ right to pollute Kentucky as much as they want to without the EPA getting on our back.

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