2012 Presidential race

Another Palin challenger bites the dust

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December 16, 2010
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We all know that Mitt “I passed Obamacare before Obama” Romney has no earthly chance of winning the Republican nomination in 2012. How about the guy who looks the strongest in many general election polls, Mike Huckabee? No, not anymore:

(2007 climate change conference)

“I also support cap and trade of carbon emissions. And I was disappointed that the Senate rejected a carbon counting system to measure the sources of emissions, because that would have been the first and the most important step toward implementing true cap and trade.”

The field is looking clearer and clearer for Sarah Palin! Shakin’ things up!

Triangulating and Palin drafting

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December 12, 2010
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How bout them numbers:

WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama’s approval ratings have sunk to the lowest level of his presidency, so low that he’d lose the White House to Republican Mitt Romney if the election were held today, according to a new McClatchy-Marist poll.

The biggest reason for Obama’s fall: a sharp drop in approval among Democrats and liberals, apparently unhappy with his moves toward the center since he led the party to landslide losses in November’s midterm elections. At the same time, he’s gained nothing among independents.

*****

Obama’s standing among Democrats dropped from a month ago, with his approval rating falling to 74 percent from 83 percent, and his disapproval rating almost doubling, from 11 percent to 21 percent.

Among liberals, his approval rating dropped from 78 percent to 69 percent and his disapproval rating jumped from 14 percent to 22 percent.

His position among independents remained virtually the same, with 39 percent approving and 52 percent disapproving. A month ago, it was 38-54.

Here are the head-to-heads:

Obama- 44
Romney- 46

Obama- 47
Huckabee- 43

Obama- 52
Palin- 40

Draft Palin

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November 17, 2010
By

Please.

Barack Obama was the first Democratic Presidential candidate to win Virginia in a generation in 2008 and a new PPP survey finds that with the most mentioned possible 2012 GOP hopefuls viewed dimly in the state he’d probably do it again if he had to stand for election today.

Obama leads Mitt Romney (48-43) and Mike Huckabee (49-44) each by 5 points in hypothetical contests, a margin similar to his victory over John McCain in the state. If the Republican nominee was either Newt Gingrich or Sarah Palin Obama’s lead widens to 11 points, by spreads of 52-41 and 51-40 respectively.

Obama has pretty good approval numbers in the state with 50% of voters giving him good marks to 45% who disapprove. His numbers certainly compare well to the favorability numbers of the top GOP contenders. Only Huckabee, at 40/40, can even break even on that front. The rest of the crowd has pretty negative numbers with Mitt Romney at -13 (33/46), Newt Gingrich at -21 (32/53), and Sarah Palin at -23 (35/58).

Like we’re actually going to believe that socialist polling firms would allow someone as free and Liberty-loving as Sarah to show up in the lead. It’s not even worth the effort to refudiate! And they’re probably a bunch of… you know.

And now, I present to you the current high point in American history:

We will follow you there.

Sarah Palin meets her Grandmama Grizzlies in Kentucky

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September 17, 2010
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Louisville was blessed yesterday with an visit from the angel of freedom sent down from heaven (Alaska) to save our lost country, Sarah Palin. She attended a big $$$$ fundraiser for Rand Paul at the Crown Plaza Hotel, then ventured down the road to Freedom Hall to speak to the National Quartet Convention in front of several thousand elderly white people about God and Trig Palin.

At the Crown Plaza Rand/Palin fundraiser, no media was allowed inside, so various Louisville media were milling around outside hoping to get a quote from anybody as they arrived or left. Andy Barr and Phil Moffett showed up, but the person most in style was David Williams, carrying a beautiful purse with him. It wasn’t even a murse, a real purse. After the event, Sarah Palin walked down the stairs directly into the gathering of librul gotcha media. And then this happened:

Abort, abort! The look on Joe Gerth’s face is rather priceless. Also, I didn’t recognize her at the time because she wasn’t buck ass nekid wrapped in a Gadsden flag, but that’s Rand Paul’s assistant campaign manager Nena Bartlett wondering why they wouldn’t let Sarah face the demon libruls.

Shortly before this, Andy Barr walked by me and I gave a friendly hello. About a minute later, Andy Barr came walking back directly towards me with a big smile on his face, saying “hey, are you Jake Payne from Page One?”. Alas, I should have said yes and had some fun with it, but I instead told him who I was. The smile instantly vanished from his face. I asked how he’s doing and he stood there silent. I then said that I asked him a question at Fancy Farm that he said he would answer later, and I asked if I can ask him that same question now. At this point he started backpedaling. “Andy?”. He turned around and started walking away. “Andy, are you sure? I won’t bite!”. He turned the corner and was gone. If only he knew how much we like him here. Oh well, Garland.

From there it was off to Freedom Hall and the big white God orgy for Sister Sarah at the Gospel Hootenanny. I had gone there to register that morning and hear some Joyful Noises, and I would guestimate that the median age was around 78. Everyone was white. Like, everyone.

Here’s a quick summary of Sarah Palin’s speech. God, Trig, God, God, Trig, lamestream media, Trig, God.

And here’s the full breakdown:

Here’s Sarah talking about how she’s not an extremist, her foreign policy doctrine of “we win, you lose”, and “takin’ back our country!”:

Sarah Palin then would on to praise the stark-raving psychopath Christine O’Donnell and get more digs in on Karl Rove (not by name, but obvious):

Sarah Palin then went on to tell a personally story about how she seriously considered murdering a kid once, but God convinced her not to, thank God:

When she says “between myself, Todd, my doctor and God” above, she so totally wishes she was forced to put “law enforcement officials” in there too, but we’ll have to wait until President Palin and her Republican Congress do that in 2013.

Palin then went on to say that what America needs now more than anything is the clear vision and optimism of her son Trig:

Sarah Palin then explained that she is an ordinary America that loves peace, just like us, also complementing the diversity of the all white crowd (technically, it wasn’t all white. I looked really hard and right before I left I finally saw a Filipino woman. So technically, fine, it was diverse):

Also, the renovation of the Burlington Coat Factory in Manhattan into a community center with a prayer room goes against the Golden Rule, which them Muslins refuse to believe in:

Suddenly, a Muslin collectivist stood up in the 5th row and pulled out a Truth Ray Gun, firing at Sarah before security had time to savagely beat him to a pulp. It hit Sarah in the face, after which she went on this rant about the Tea Party and Glen Beck’s rally:

After the Truth Ray wore off, Palin got back into her groove, explaining that God is like Santa Claus, and all America has to do to thrive is send him your wishes, which He will grant:

Here’s Sarah giving us an awesome string of political cliches to end her speech, which gets rapturous applause from thousands of elderly white people:

Then it was “question and answer time”. Before doing so, the moderator had to tell everyone how amazing it is that Palin actually prays:

Sarah was asked who she would stand in line for hours to meet. She says Herschel Walker and Toby Keith.

Palin closes out the appearance by calling out those “feminists” and “women’s groups” who dare to say that women who advocate for the federal criminalization of abortion even in cases of rape and incest can’t be called feminists. I know, right! Nothing says Female Power like giving up ownership of your uterus to Uncle Sam, or else face a murder charge. Forced birth = Feministy Freedom!

And that was that. Can’t wait to have her swear in on the Bible (not Quran!) in 2013, can you? In the meantime, at least we’ll have her good buddy Rand Paul holding down the fort in DC for us.

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