Ken Ham: Jesus was NOT a cosmic Jewish zombie

Dino-riding cult Answers in Genesis received the following letter recently from someone who will soon burn in hell with all of the homosexuals, scientists, infidels and immodest women:

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You guys are crazy. I understand that your belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father who wants you to symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically accept him as your master will remove an evil in your soul placed there by a rib-woman who was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magic tree is clouding your perception of scientific evidence, but all your doing is confusing Christians who can’t afford to go to college or are uninterested in REAL science. You should be ashamed of your selves and I hope this is a spoof website.

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Answers in Genesis rebutted these ridiculous claims point-by-point in their response with indisputable historical science, such as the “Jesus is a zombie” blasphemy:

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Jesus did come in the flesh as a Jew, so you got part of this correct. As for the zombie line, you clearly have not taken the time to look at the vast differences between a zombie and the resurrected Christ. Zombies are considered to be part of the undead (not alive), often will-less and speechless bodies that have been reanimated by spirits. The resurrected Christ is not undead, but alive (Revelation 1:18). After His Resurrection, He spoke with His followers and taught them (Luke 24:25–27), reassured them (Luke 24:36–39), and commanded them (Matthew 28:18–20). He ate food with them (Luke 24:43; John 21:15) and urged them to touch Him to see that He was not a ghost but truly risen from the dead bodily (Luke 24:39). He also had a will (John 21:22–23) and performed miracles (Luke 24:31; John 21:6).

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Seriously, you’d have to be an idiot to not know that a zombie is an “undead” creature, unlike the totally 100% alive Jesus after he rose from the dead. Speech = Life. Served!

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I highly suggest reading the entire thing. You might learn something. Or become a lot stupider.

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8 comments for “Ken Ham: Jesus was NOT a cosmic Jewish zombie

  1. Strangeite
    April 27, 2012 at 11:52 pm

    Jesus is not a zombie. Got it.

    I assert that maybe he was just a prestige class Lich. Liches are undead spell casters with a physical body (Monster Manual pg 166), capable of speech (MM pg 168), able to cast miracle like spells (Player Handbook pg 276) and can consume food (DMG pg 345).

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    • August 7, 2015 at 10:42 am

      Well played, sir, well played.

      Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  2. waldteufel
    April 28, 2012 at 9:42 am

    The stupid is always strong at Answers in Genesis. But, the answer to the reader’s e-mail was pure inanity wrapped in insanity.

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  3. April 30, 2012 at 10:21 am

    I disagree!!!! I consider it to be far more likely that Jesus was an instance of a BodySnatcher, as in the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I.e. a PodPerson.

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  4. Paul Hands
    May 1, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    I think Ken Ham is a zombie….a particularly poor one.

    AIG is a giant sinkhole of depraved stupidity.

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  5. NANA
    November 17, 2012 at 5:21 am

    This article is retarded. Rather than being intolerant of what other people believe is true, try writing something that is informative and serves a purpose.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

  6. Bob
    April 5, 2015 at 10:27 am

    Zombies do have speech. BRAINS!

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  7. J Dan
    September 12, 2015 at 5:14 pm

    Oh come on Ghosters. You know what zombies want: They want your soul. That is why Jesus was a zombie. The main point is that Christian leaders try to keep their flocks of sheep ignorant. Let them read and understand science. Prove your faith. Don’t be like God in your fairy tale about the Garden of Eden, always trying to keep humans from the truth. Let them eat the apple from the tree of knowledge! Are you afraid the truth will set them free?

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