The 2010 Rooties!!! Our best and worst of the year in Kentucky (PART IV)

Closing scene! Its time to hand out the 2010 Rooties awards, acknowledging the best and worst of Kentucky politics in this quite foul year of our lord.

This is the last of our 4 installments of this year’s Rooties, finishing up the best/worst moments and achievements of 2010. (Be sure to check out Part One, Part Two and Part Three).

Onward!

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BEST DEBATE MOMENT

Gurley Martin crashes debate with his birth certificate- Once Gurley walked to the stage waving his birth certificate and screaming “my name is Gurley L. Martin!”, everyone knew it was time to start letting him on stage and giving him a microphone.

Skip Horine reveals why he’s running- Horine waited until his final statement in the first Lexington mayoral debate to reveal why he was running: to avenge the death of his mother by the Lexington police and its cover up by those in city hall. Awkward would be an understatement.

Christopher Hignite accuses Chuck Ellinger of murder- Well, not murder per se. Just the cover up of murder and prostitution on a grand scale within the Lexington political establishment.

Christopher Hignite confronts mayoral candidates in a bunny costume- This happened.

Gurley Martin has never raped a woman or lynched a black man- Moments like these are why Gurley Martin needs to take on Mitch McConnell in 2014. He is a treasure.

GREATEST QUOTE/ACHIEVEMENT IN COAL SHILLING

Runner up:

Jeff Fugate- Mountaintop removal is sooooo beautiful, isn’t it?

Rand Paul- Liberty Christ explains that mountaintop removal doesn’t cause any environmental damage:

“I’ve been out there, and there are not complaints from the local citizens about it being a problem… there’s elk roaming on it…”

Dan Mongiardo- “I’m a pro-coal environmentalist”. Nuff said.

Jack Conway- When is it ever appropriate to tie up your integrity, then make it bow down and worship your God, that you call King Coal?

“I have opposed EPA efforts to impose oppressive air quality standards”

Jim Newberry- Newberry invited all of Kentucky’s coal executives to a fundraiser, explaining that his opponent Jim Gray “has been associated with individuals that have opposed the efforts of the coal and energy industry“. FEAR. And who were they talking about? The Louisville Brown family, that has given to every major Democrat in the state, including coal shills and Newberry’s own brother. FAIL.

Keith Hall- Why was the flooding in Pikeville this year so catastrophic? All of the new mountaintop removal sites around the worst areas? Nope, it was “urban sprawl”, which has really gotten out of control. In Pikeville.

Stephen Colbert- I think Jim Gooch actually believes this:

“You’re all anti-mountaintop removal, but let’s face facts. These mountain will grow back.”

Winner:

Kentucky Coal Association- GOD HIMSELF DEMANDED THAT WE USE MTR!

“Every valley shall be filled in, every mountain and hill shall be made low; The rugged land shall be made a plain, the rough country, a broad valley. Then the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all mankind shall see it together; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.” Isaiah 40:4-5

BEST SOCKPUPPETRY

American Water Company- Corporate America likes to troll blogs all over the country, including ours.

“LASKEW”- It’s just a total coincidence that somebody with this name popped up as a new commenter in the Herald Leader’s comments spouting all of Logan Askew’s talking points.

Thomas Kubica- Rand Paul’s staffers went so far as to dip into the Great Orange Satan in defense of Liberty.

Jordan Palmer- “Michael J. Thomas” would like to inform us all that Matthew Vanderpool’s campaign manager Jordan Palmer is a goddamned genius and the reincarnation of Harvey Milk. ISSUES!

BEST JACK CONWAY PETITION

Damned if I know, take your pick-

For KAWC to lower rate increase- Oh wait, that was Mark Riddle’s petition for his other candidate.

Write Jeb Bush- Screw giving Jack Conway money. What’s really going to turn this race around is if you sign this petition asking Jeb Bush if he stands with Rand Paul. There is no off position on Mark Riddle’s genius switch.

MOST AWKWARD MOMENT

Runners up:

Tweety smacks Conway over Aqua Buddha- This was a train wreck that everyone but Conway’s campaign saw coming:

Rand Paul accuses David Adams of lying/self-promotion- Which was actually false, as Rand Paul’s campaign signed of on the statement in support of the Fair Tax, then later lied about it and scapegoated Paul’s former campaign manager that brought him to the dance. Awkward!

Rand Paul runs from the Hillbilly and union members- He is a delicate flower that cannot be bothered by the commoners and rabble. Actually, we could choose from about 7 different videos of him running from people with cameras and microphones.

Andrea James laughs at Jim Newberry- Newberry asserts his authority at a council meeting, only to get laughed at in front of everyone by council member Andrea James.

Ray Larson creeps out his female interns- Fayette Commonwealth Attorney Ray Larson is a generally despicable guy, but these creepy videos he makes of his young females interns will give you the heebee jeebees. 

Newberry caught cheering for Rand Paul- Mr. Mayor kinda realized a little too late that it might be a bad idea to cheer for Randy when I was behind him taping it.

Bizarro Lincoln- Abraham Lincoln is now all about states rights, and at least open to the idea of secession. Down with interventionist federal government!

Winner:

Mitch McConnell sobs on the Senate floor- He did it twice actually, but this one for his staff member is…. yeah.

BEST STRATEGERY

Runners up:

Wes Collins- A Congressional candidate asking a man in “Yup I’m a Racist” T-shirt for his vote on camera is certainly a bold move.

Jim Newberry- Of course a Democratic mayoral candidate can go to a Republican rally a few days before an election and cheer for Rand Paul. What could possibly go wrong?

Winner:


Matthew Vanderpool / Jordan Palmer- What do you do when you’re a longshot gay candidate running against an entrenched homophobe? Well, you preemptively trash the Victory Fund and “the gay agenda”, then claim to the press that you won’t openly “prance around” and say “gay this and gay that” like those other gay candidates. Vanderpool claimed that’s how he was able to neutralize his gayness and “nip it in the bud“. Shocking how that didn’t work out…

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That’s it! The Rooties are finally done! Again, if you haven’t seen the first three sections of the 2010 Rooties, you can find them here, here and here.

Did we miss anything? If you have any suggestions for people/things/moments/pics that you think deserve mention as well, please leave them in the comments. I know I left out a few that probably deserve mention, so I’ll probably throw up an Island of Lost Rooties post sometime tomorrow to at least give them a tip of the hat. (Shaye’s KLC tweet? Mongiardo shaving pigs and milking cows? Judge Pamela Goodwine’s jail break?)