The 2008 Rooties!!! Our best and worst of the year

Oh yes, boys and girls, it’s that time of year again. It’s time for the winners and losers and douchebags of this fair year of our Lord, 2008. Barefoot and Progressive style. Last year, we had the “Rooties”. What are they this year, the Footies? The Booties? The Pooties? Well, whatever the hell these are called, the winners and losers are getting the Rudy Huxtable trophy, damnit.
Hey ho. Let’s go.

Most improved Democrat

Winner:

Ben Chandler- Yes, just last year ole Ben won the Most Spineless KY Democrat Rootie… what a difference a year can make. Instead of caving in to everything that George and Dick wanted to do and spitting on our Constitution in the process (and poking me angrily in the chest when I told him that), Ben actually stood up for what was right in 2008. Took a huge stand in calling out Mountaintop Removal. Took a huge risk in standing up to endorse Barack Obama early on. Voted against the Wall St. bailout. Made one good vote on FISA. Speaking the truth on Iraq.

Ben certainly wasn’t perfect, but I’m glad to say that I wasn’t ashamed of him this year, and was often quite proud of him. Let’s just make sure he keeps getting the positive/negative feedback he deserves.

Best KY Democrat

Runner up:

Kathy Stein- There is no other person in Frankfort that is going to fight for us like Kathy Stein. This year, she put the brakes on Stan Lee’s Clockwork Orange for Women Bill, and also had the guts to be the ONLY person in Frankfort to join my Operation Gooch, saying that she supports removing Jim Gooch from his chair on the resources committee. For the cherry on top, she clobbered CentrePoint enabler Chuck Ellinger on Nov 4th, giving the CentrePointe Curse a 3-0 record. We look forward to her getting up in David Williams’ shit next year, though she could use about a gazillion more votes in the Senate.

Winner:

John Yarmuth- For the second straight year, John wins the honor. Mr. Yarmuth went from fearless freshman liberal in 2007, to Louisville congressman for life in 2008, giving Anne Northup a severe 19 point thumping on November 4th. Yarmuth hedged on a couple of votes this year, but Pelosi will continue to give him prominent roles and he has the job security he needs to keep up the great work.

Best Lexington Democrat

Runner up:

Don Blevins Jr.- The LFUCG Councilman who ad-libbed the best line of the entire CentrePointe debacle of 2008: referring to CentrePointe as a “Vertical Lexington Mall”. Blevins continually asked the hard questions and made the right votes on CentrePointe… we just needed more of him. Now, we’ll probably get an “Invisible Vertical Lexington Mall”. (I coined that one…) And we’re sad to see him taking his father’s County Clerk position, we need people like him on the Council.

Winner:

Jim Gray- What Schankula says. What you look for in public officials is honesty, openness, intelligence and integrity. Jim Gray has them all. He also has the ability to address scumbags like Dudley Webb with a smile and not call him a filthy, lying pigfucker. I’ll never have that skill, me thinks…

Biggest KY Douchebag

Runner ups:

Thom Karmik- The KDP Communications Director goes from intentionally helping Republicans win in Illinois to unintentionally helping Republicans win in Kentucky. Then he blatantly LIES about Todd Hollenbach, saying he renounced Frank Simon’s endorsement last year, butchering logic in the process. To top it off, there is the entire scandal where Thom, I mean, ahem, a KDP staffer, was caught red-handed trolling at BG Report and PageOne calling Jake and I silly names. After caught, Thom, I mean the KDP staffer, got Walter Hawkins to delete all of his, I mean his/her, comments from BGR. Have fun in Illinois next year after you get the boot, Thom!

Joe Fisher and Hunter Bush- The two douchebags who were caught hanging the Obama effigy on UK’s campus just before the election. Actually, it’s a coinflip on whether they are douchebags or fucktards.

Lee Todd- UK’s President conspired with KY Senate Pres. David Williams to kill the cigarette tax, which lead to state education cuts and yet another increase in tuition for UK students. Oh, but he still accepted a $100,000 bonus to his already $300,000 salary. And gets a glowing review from Mitch himself…

Jim Newberry- What can you say about a Mayor that conspires in secret to destroy a city’s cultural heritage and heart in order to placate a campaign contributor’s snakeoil pipedream… and then sends out an email to his constituents calling them a bunch a lying whiners who should shut up? I say this douchebag will be re-elected mayor in 2010 over my dead body. But Newberry Canyon will live on for many more years, nevertheless…

Sonny “Billy” Landham- Formerly just a wacko wife-beating, white supremacist porn star. In 2008 he adds bigoted genocide advocate to his repertoire. Billy 4 Douchebag.

Golden Girls Gone Wild- At Hillary’s May 9th fundraiser/primary eulogy in Louisville, Hillary’s army of Golden Girls heckled Congressman John Yarmuth throughout his speech, simply because he had previously endorsed Barack Obama. Classy ladies.

Jack Westwood- This sick fuck pedals the lie that abortions cause breast cancer to blogger Diane Brumback…. who is currently battling breast cancer. And people of Kentucky actually vote for scum like this.

Solzy- “Sluts should pay the price“

Winner:

Dudley Webb- Dudley Webb’s list of development failures in his history is matched only by the list of lies and misinformation that he spread in 2008 about his hideous boondoggle, the Cock and Balls Tower in Lexington. Dudley’s glad he lives in a town with no institutional memory. But he’s King Douchebag in Lexwebbington.

Best KY journalist

Runner up:

Trey Pollard- The best day-to-day coverage on the ground of the campaign trail wasn’t done by the Herald-Leader or Courier-Journal, but Trey at the now extinct Politicker.

Tom Eblen- Tom is a must read every week, and a welcome edition to the LHL. And Dudley is not a fan of his…

Winner:

John Cheves- For the second straight year, this is an absolute no-brainer. There is no one in KY even close to being the investigative reporter that John Cheves is. He single-handedly embarrassed the Beshear administration into addressing the prison overcrowding issue, exposed wasted KY taxdollars going to a Wisconsin archery program and King Coal propaganda, introduced us to Mitch McConnell’s vulture friend, and shared with us Jim Bunning’s personal “charity”. The only questions remains: when will the New York Times or Washington Post sweep in and take Cheves away from us?

Best KY activist

Runner up:

Heather Ryan- Few of us trouble makers actually have the balls to file papers and run for office, and Heather ran about as spirited a no-budget campaign as you possibly can, not pulling any punches the entire way.

Dave Newton- KFTC had a great year, finally getting the Stream Saver Bill to committee, and making big progress on Felons’ Voting Rights. Dave is the mistro behind it all making it happen, and we look forward to KFTC making more gains in the coming year.

Winner:

Hayward Wilkirson and Eric Thomason- Dudley Webb and Jim Newberry expected to simply present their secret plan for CentrePointe and have the citizens of Lexington swoon at its magnificence and start bulldozing the Dame block right away. That’s when Hayward and Eric stepped in and decided that we have other plans. Preserve Lexington was their creation, and it turned into the focal point for some of the most inspiring activism I’ve ever seen in Lexington. We won over the public, the press, and almost half of the Council. But in the end, Lexwebbington just had too much corrput cronyism to compete with. We all still owe a big debt of gratitude to Hayward and Dave for giving up all of their free time to fight this travesty and delay it for 4 months.

Worst KY Democrat

Runner ups:

Larry Clark- Clark was one of the big reasons that the 2008 session was a complete clusterfuck from the beginning, but his grand opus was telling constituent KFTC members that he supported the Stream Saver Bill, then voted against it at the last second, killing the bill by one vote. Let’s hope that Joni Jenkins clobbers him.

Lt. Dan Mongiardo- Our favorite homophobe and tool of King Coal had a busy year. Though he didn’t pass around any No Gay Stuff petitions this year (that I know of), he did spew a pile of King Coal bullshit, saying that MTR was a “positive” because it’s nice flat land to build Wal-Marts on, and completed lied about Barack Obama supporting coal-to-liquid. But he did conduct an interview in a closet at the DNC, so at least he gave us that…

Winner:

Jim Gooch- The Gooch. A constant embarrassment to our state. Trying to register columnists and cartoonists as “lobbyists“. Voting against a bill to allow early voting. Calling wind and solar power “false hopes“. And continually backing up his reputation as THE stupidest man in Frankfort. I can’t wait to rev up Operation Gooch in the new year, because we need to kick his ass off his chair on the resources committee and move this state into the 21st century.

Best schadenfreude moment

Runner up:

The Curse of CentrePointe- While they might have succeeded in tearing down our block and building their Invisible Vertical Lexington Mall, everyone with blood on their hands is politically cursed. Foster Ockerman and Alison Lundergan Grimes were the first ones to learn, as their ties to the demolition completely destroyed their chances against Kelly Flood in the 75th primary. Then Chuck Ellinger, who voted for the Webbs 100% on the council, got destroyed by Kathy Stein in the race for Scorsone’s old Senate seat. Newberry, you’re next!

Ann Coulter’s jaw wired shut- Where schadenfreude and Karma meet…

Winner:

Anne Northup gets clobbered- I was calling this schadenfreudtastic beatdown all the way back in January, and John Yarmuth did not disappoint us, beating Anne Northup by 19 points. Humiliating. And her 3rd loss in the span of 2 years. Keep running Anne!

Most incompetent KY politico

Runner up:

Jennifer Moore- The soon-to-be-gone KDP chair managed to piss off the entire grassroots progressive base of the party by threatening Andrew Horne’s donor base, bankrupt the party, and manage it’s pitiful November 4th performance. Her only real contribution was a YouTube infomercial on riding bikes. Seriously…

Winner:

Larry Hayes and Jim Cauley- It’s truly shocking how quickly the momentum built up in late 2007 was squandered by the complete and utter incompetence of the Beshear administration in early 2008. Their obsession with casinos was matched only by their arrogance in their first proposal, which effectively killed any chance that it had. On every level, Hayes and Cauley alienated key allies that they needed, within and outside of the legislature, to meet the challenges they faced on the budget, cigarette taxes, and elections. Beshear already demoted Cauley, but still hangs onto Hayes for gawd-knows-why. Hopefully Adam Edelen can balance out the incompetence of Hayes this year, or else we’re looking at a repeat of The Failure of 2008.

Worst campaign

Runner up:

Kathy Groob- Pro-choice Groob sends out ridiculous anti-abortion mailers for her campaign, and still manages to lose a winnable race. Making her twice the pathetic loser.

Anne Northup- At a debate with John Yarmuth, each candidate was allowed to ask one question to the other. What did Anne ask? Why he didn’t vote for a bill to throw a birthday party for the little baby Jesus. Genius!

Greg Fischer- Sorry Fischer folks, but the campaign’s decision to not spend any of his money until a month before the primary election when he was down 40 points and nobody knew who he was…. just mind-bogglingly dumb.

Winner:

David Boswell- In a race that should have been won, Boswell managed to not raise any money, not raise any grassroots support, and act like a Republican the entire time. And give a McConnell protege a seat for many many years, most likely.

Most blatant lie

Runner up:

Newt Gingrich: “While many in the media try to paint Mitch (McConnell) as a partisan, I know him as a balanced and open-minded individual who gathers all the facts, carefully considers all options, and then decides upon the best course of action for his constituents – and for our nation. He’s not partisan“

Sarah Palin- “I told Congress, ‘thanks, but no thanks’ on that Bridge to Nowhere“… (said about 200 times on the trail…)

Lt. Dan Mongiardo- At the Fancy Farm Bean Dinner he tells the audience that Barack Obama is for coal-to-liquid plants. Uh…. no.

Winner:

Greg Fischer- “replacing Mitch McConnell with Bruce Lunsford is no change at all“

Most unintentionally funny moment

Runner up:

Mitch McConnell’s stare- caught like a deer in headlights at the RNC:

Fox’s “terrorist fist jab”- In a pathetic attempt to smear Obama as a the scary black muzlim terrurist, Fox News’ E.D. Hill wonders what kind of terrorist code was transmitted by the knuckles of Barack and Michelle.

Jefferson Poole- By far, the most unintentionally funny post by the fascist wing of the KY blogosphere. Here, Jefferson explains that while it may look to the casual observer that McCain is running a shitty campaign, making a blunder at every turn and down 8 in the polls just before the election….. in actuality he is just using the lessons of Sun Tzu in order to launch a sneak attack and win win win! Yes, he was being completely serious.

Kim Geveden- “We have plenty of time and plenty of money to introduce Greg and to lay out the contrasts between Greg Fischer and Bruce Lunsford” (Greg Fischer’s campaign director, one month before the election while he was 40 points down)

Winner:

Jennifer Moore and her bicycle- The KDP gives us a public service announcement on bicycles. I shit you not.

Most disgusting quote

Runner up:

Geoff(erson) Davis- “I’m going to tell you something: That boy’s finger does not need to be on the button.” (the “boy” being Obama)

Larry Chiles- “Lexington is the horse capital of the world, not the weird capital of the world“

Winner:

Dudley Webb- “There’s nothing of any value at all on that block“

Best blogger outreach

Runner up:

Bruce Lunsford- Despite the fact that KY bloggers had called Bruce Lunsford every name in the book, he still asked for a blogger conference call with any KY blogger, where they could ask him any questions they wanted, no holds barred. He got the crap kicked out of him, but starting earning a little more respect. And then, as sore loser A.J. Carrillo claimed, he started paying off me and Jake, which really helped. lulz.

Winner:

Barack Obama in Louisville- On a riser about 20 yards away as he addressed 10,000 people and made the ladies faint. Thanks.

Best use of strategery

Runner up:

Obama race speech- The media loves ballsy straight talk, and they absolutely creamed themselves over this one. And shit, who could blame them? This speech locked up the primary.

Winner:

Harry Moberly- Lawrence of aRichmond finally got the Stream Saver Bill out of Jim Gooch’s committee by use of….. the camel tax. Ingenius.

Batshit craziest

Runner up:

Winner:

Ken Ham- Mr. Yabba Dabba Doo now has a great new blog to go with his Sadled Dinosuar Museum. He’s Incest-tastic!

Funniest video

Runner up:

Bill O’Reilly will Do it live!

Gray ambition- McCain vs. Madonna

McCain as The Penguin- life imitates campy 60′s comic book art

It’s Raining McCain!- You haven’t lived until you washed your face with him…

Winner:

Solzy does the Cats Den- KY blogger/comedian Daniel Solzman (aka Solzy) absolutely rocks the Cats Den at UK with some of the most cutting edge topical stand up you’ll ever see. The kid is a STAR, damnit.

Best achievement in Stalinist purging

Runner up:

Mitch McConnell’s Facebook page- So, a little old lady thanks Mitch on his Facebook wall for his military service. Then the comment is deleted. Then the entire wall is deleted. Then, after the election, the wall dramatically returns, and the little old ladies account is deleted by Facebook. Nice work, Comrade Mitch!

Winner:

Walter Hawkins and the KDP- As mentioned earlier, a KDP staffer was caught red-handed as “Dilweed Detector” on the “new” Bluegrass Report’s comments going after Jake and I. After we caught him. All of his comments, and his comments only were deleted. After pointing this out again. Hawkins makes a post saying he had to delete offensive comments on the site, even though his were the only ones deleted, and most of those deleted weren’t offensive at all. Then, the entire site vanishes, or is “abandoned”, rather. So sad, so sad…

Most disturbing image

Runner up:

Sarah Palin’s Couric interview- Some might say this should go under “funniest”, but seriously, the fact that someone this stupid could get that close to the presidency is nothing if not disturbing.

Palin’s turkey- Reminder: she requested that for the background.

Winner:


Most humiliating representation of KY

Runner up:

Rednecks on Obama- The positive of the primary going long enough to conclude KY: the candidates come here and our vote matters. The negative: people from around the world come here and get this footage from us. Ugh.

Winner:

Creation Museum- “You’re from Kentucky? Is that the place with the Museum with people riding dinosaurs?” Yes. Yes it is.

Best fashion

Runner up:

Joni Jenkins’ red shoes- Teh hot.

Winner:

Elaine Chao- Your nails look good, girl!

Best cat fight

Winner:

Jake Payne and Jennifer Moore- Rawr!!! You could pick Jake and about 20 other people for this one, but the Moore-Payne matchup wins. And we’ll have a clear winner in this one by late January, me thinks…

Best moment

Runner up:

Save our Block rally at KY theater- We hoped to get 100 people in there, and managed to get 600, having to turn people away from the door. Facebook organizing is the shiz.

Winner:

Barack Obama- Too many to choose from. The Iowa primary. His speech after the New Hampshire loss. The race speech. The speech when he clinched the nomination. The DNC speech in Denver. Kicking McCain’s butt in the debates. His victory speech. Take your pick, this year belonged to Barry.

Best KY blog/blogger

Runner ups:

Jim Pence- NOBODY in Bluegrass Blogtopia works harder than Jim Pence at Hillbilly Report. All hail the Hillbilly for all of his time and effort put into his videos.

Yellow Dog- YD is the keymaster to the KY shrine of the Order of the Shrill. And bless him for it.

Winner:

Jake Payne/Page One- Jake already has a massive, gargantuan ego, so I’ll refrain from elaboration on this one. But this is the obvious winner.

Person of the Year

Runner up:

Jim Gray- See above. Gray for Lexington Mayor 2010.

Adam Bender- This kid is seriously my hero.

Winner:

Barack Obama- Hail to the King, baby. It was time to clean house, and Mr. Obama delivered.

Best Monday open thread host

Winner:

Kenny “Sky” Walker

Kenny says “see you next year, suckas!”